Begin at the Beginning: A Feldenkrais Experiment.
I am reading a book by Henry Miller called, Black Spring. I am not quite getting the book. It seems to meander all over the place and does not have a coherent theme that I can pick up on. None the less, like many of Henry Miller’s books it contains useful insights that can jump off the page at a moments notice. I am currently drawn to the passage below:
In every statement there’s a little error and the error grows bigger and bigger until the snake is scotched. The poem is the only flawless thing, provided you know what time it is. A poem is a web which the poet spins out of his body according to a logarithimic calculus of his own divination. It’s always right, because the poet starts from the center and works out.”
I can think of that passage in terms of the Feldenkrais Method and movement. Switch the word “poem”, to the word “movement” and “poet” to “mover.”
Movement is the only flawless thing…Movement is a web which the mover spins out of his body according to a logarithimic calculus of his own divination. It’s always right, because the mover starts from the center and works out.
Few of us move in such a centered, graceful way, where the movement comes out as poetry from the center of our being. I would make the case that even “professional movers” such a ballet dancers do not move in such a way. Many of the so-called “artistic” forms of movement require one to shape one’s body to the movement, fitting it to predefined and largely unnatural standards of what is “good.” One does not get rewarded for doing something that is pleasing and useful to the self. One gets credit for subjugating oneself to an external authority and moving according to someone else’s idea of what is good and beautiful.
In the current moment, I will assume that I am doing something similiar – living this day according to someone else ideas about what I “should” be doing, what is “good” and “useful” and “proper.” Of course, we all have to do that at times. There is an external social world to which we have to adjust. However this morning, as I sat planning my day, I felt a certain sense of “so what” and wondering if what I was going to accomplish today was meaningful to me as a person. Am I evolving myself or am I, as Arno Greun mentions in some of his books simply submitting to an less-than-ideal reality? I think these questions are important to ask on a regular basis.
I will answer the question by doing a simple qualitative exploration on myself. I will take write down my current sensations and feelings, do a Feldenkrias, Awareness Through Movement Lesson, and then write down the what I am feeling aftwerward.My current state is rather disconnected. I was able to find the motivation to write this post and consider the ideas, but overall I feel rather tense. Certain parts of my self, such as my left leg and the left side of my jaw and face seem rather “fuzzy,” that is they do not seem particularly “well” and “here.” I am slightly clutching my jaw and feeling muscular tension in the left side. I have a variety of tasks to do today, mainly academic tasks focused around creating online teaching tools and resources. Yet, I have not begun to work on those tasks and I am working on this post instead.
Now, I will take a brief rest and then find one of my recorded experiential lessons (i.e Awareness Through Movement) to do. It is currently 11:14 a.m. Mountain Standard Time.
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It is now, 12:47. I didn’t not immediately do the Feldenkrais Lesson. I had a talk with my neighbor, took care of some business of the home owners association and then laid down to do a 22 minute Feldenkrais lesson called, “Covering the Eyes.” This lesson focuses on simple movements of the eyes, and brief visualizations in order to improve the funtioning and movements of the eyes. It can also relax the eyes and the muscles around the eyes and the face. There is a softness around my eyes and face that is quite nice. Almost as if the area around my eyes had been gently massaged. I am more relaxed than I was prior to the lesson. My breathing is easier and more full. I still feel a certain tension in my mouth and jaw, but it much less than before. Overall, I am in a much better space. To answer my earlier question of whether I was living this day according to an external “ought” or “should” – the answer is yes. Stopping my usual acitivities and working on my Feldenkrais store and downloads are activities that are much more in tune with where I want and need to go with my life. My academic projects are on track, and switching gears for several hours would not hurt the progress.
I have decided to re-record this lesson and then offer it a a digital download (mp3 format) on my store. I will try to have the lesson up in the next 2-3 days.
Perhaps you might like to do a similar exploration to what I did above and tell me how it worked for you?
cheers – Ryan
